Business Techno Breaking News 15th April 2025
Dark Techno DJ thinks Black Mirror ripped them off, and AI Toy Trend Frenzy gets a little silly
DARK TECHNO DJ THINKS NEW BLACK MIRROR LOOKS “PRETTY FUN ACTUALLY”
NEAR A WAREHOUSE — A dark techno DJ who insists he’s naturally drawn to “the wild side” has claimed that the new season of Black Mirror just looks like a playground to him.
“It’s just a glimpse into the sick, twisted mind of the dark techno DJ that would make a normal person go mad, nothing scares me or surprises me anymore,” he explained, mid-rollie hanging out near a warehouse venue. “Actually, it kind of looks pretty cool and fun to someone like me. I’m sure a lot of people would go, ‘Oh that’s horrific and scary and I don’t want that to happen,’ but to me it’s just another day at the office really.”
The DJ, who describes his mostly instrumental music as “dark, dystopian, twisted tunes that would put Black Mirror to shame,” added that he’s already explored every theme Charlie Brooker could possibly imagine. “Nothing really surprises me anymore. I’ve already covered it in my new futuristic Detroit techno project Flesh Light,” he said. “So yeah, do your best Charlie, but honestly? To me your whole vibe is basically Disneyland.”
Sources close to the DJ offered a differing reflection.
“Yeah, he acts really tough on the outside — he’s got tattoos, wears leather trousers — but honestly, I once saw him go a bit pale after getting an email from HMRC,” said one friend.
Another former classmate added, “I remember when we were at school, he forgot to do his IT homework once and just bunked the whole day because he thought the teacher might tell him off. But then his parents told him off instead, and he cried all night. That’s probably where all the dark aggression in his music comes from.”
The DJ’s music, which consists almost entirely of aggressive 303 acid lines and relentless 909 drums, contains no lyrics. “But if there were words,” said the friend, “it would probably be something like, ‘Leave me alone, Mum.”
DJ WHO GOT 5 LIKES FROM AI TOY TREND SAYS “MOST LIKES I’VE HAD IN YEARS”
BRIGHTON — A local DJ who recently said TikTok, AI and trends are ruining the fabric of good msuic has jumped on the viral AI toy box trend. He declared the experience “fantastic,” adding that it’s brought him the most engagement he’s seen in years after receiving five likes on Instagram.
The DJ, who reportedly watched posts of the trend almost 200 times before deciding to join in, stated:
“Yeah I usually think trends are boring and lame, but this isn’t TikTok. I always fancied myself as a bit of an action figure hehe,” he added. “You know, with my explosive sets and relentless 135bpm breakbeats.”
While five of his friends — none of whom had actually seen the toy box trend before and reportedly “don’t really get out of the house” — found the AI-generated image absolutely hilarious, others were less surprised.
“Yeah, mate, I can’t believe he’s done that,” said one follower. “But also… I kind of can. It’s sort of expected at this point.”
Still, the DJ remains hopeful that building a whole persona around the toy box version of himself might be the start of a new era. He said:
”I’m thinking about doing a whole Marshmellow thing maybe? But mixed with action man, hopefully I score a gig and who knows next year I could be getting 6 likes.”
“He’s hoping it helps him get more than five plays on SoundCloud,” said a source close to the situation. “But he’s taking it one step at a time.”